I've been to more than 95 countries and been a monk (no one religion) for over thirty five years -- so, maybe I bring a different perspective. Let's see what comes out:
There have been a lot of interesting comments on this particular thread -- don't see a lot of the personal anger and mean-spiritedness that I've seen on many others -- maybe because the subject is truly serious.
First an experience: when I was in the north of Cameroon, I stayed with a tribe that wore almost no clothing and had no 'religion'. When I visited the Catholic Mission in a nearby large town (Garoa), a French priest said to me about the tribe I had just been with: "These 'pagans' who everyone looks down upon are more 'Christian' than any Christian whom I have ever known in Europe". From my travels in certain Indian villages in Central America and other villages in West Africa, I already knew what he was saying. In future travels I found that same level of harmony, love, inner-peace, joy, and inner-beauty in certain villages in the mountains of Nepal, Northern Laos, Northern Phillippenes (the Igorot peoples), and, in Bali. One time I was in such a village in Asia and was asked by some of the inhabitants: "Why do you come and stay with us" (they have been made to feel inferior because of their poverty and lack of 'education'), I stopped and said from my heart: "India is my school. America is my work. And, this village is my hospital."
I am telling you this for several reasons. First, the 'real world' I grew up hearing about ("nice guys finish last", "anything for a buck", etc. is not a 'given' for human beings -- alone, or, together. Secondly, if that is true, it is incumbent upon us to try to understand how we got here (I have never seen such unhappy children as in certain modern societies -- but not in all) -- and, what we can do to change for-the-better. One clue to both. As I was hitchhiking around the world during much of the 1960's, I had planned on a year in Africa but stayed about two and one half years. As I travelled through various rural areas, once-in-awhile I would be with a tribe whose members were not so special with each other -- not only with their neighbors, but even with their own family members (sound familiar anyone?). It was not until I was in Ethiopia after two years in Africa, that upon looking back on my experiences -- that I realized that all of the tribes that were not so harmonious, were ones which had a history of aggressive warfare, taking slaves, etc. (again, familiar?) ie bad social karma without honesty and healing make for difficult relationships. Also, a common thread among all of the most humanly-healthy villages was an intimate and continual connection with nature ("Body of God").
Now for a couple of spiritual quotes that some of you may find helpful (sad that so many have thrown God away because of some practices of religions):
"Politics without principles;
Commerce without morality;
Wealth without charity;
Science without humanity;
Education without character;
Pleasure without purity (of heart);
are not only useless, they are positively dangerous."
"If there is righteousness in the heart (harmony of word, thought, and deed in following dictates of Consience), there is beauty in the character;
If there is beauty in the character, there is harmony in the home;
If there is harmony in the home, there is order in the commnity -- the nation;
If there is order in the communities and the nation, then there can be peace in our world."
For the guy who doesnt like freeways:
"Head in the forest -- hands in society."
& "Pure love can only come at moments of true Peace."
For all of us:
"Sow a thought, reap an aciton.
Sow an action, reap a tendency.
Sow a tendency, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow your character and reap your destiny."
And, one last one:
"The highest spiritual practise is to transform love into service."
God Bless

The author sees what's happening to people who live (and decline as humans) in the western Corportate-Capitalist model.

I'm not imtimating, thereby, that 'socialism' will save human decency: what state socialism has done to its 20th century victims is just as bad...

Implicitly, the author can be seen suggesting the need for a new Humanist culture, grounded in a person-to-person awareness of I/Otherness, that's beyond the world's absurdly-harsh and jousting economic systems.

There's a determined spirit of decency in this author that needs to be just as stong and determined in the rest of us.

This article saddened me but did not surprise me. I left London, UK, just as Thatcher got into power. As many of you know, Thatcher has said that she does not believe in the "collective"; she does not believe in communities; she believes in individualism.

Over 30 years ago when I lived in the UK (after living in the US for 10 years) I marvelled at the politeness and consideration of the British people. I commuted on the Underground daily and we were packed in like sardines and of course we all ended up being a bit jostled with the crowded condition. But all I heard was "excuse me" "sorry" etc. when someone bumped into me accidentally. The commuters were quiet, many reading the newspaper, everyone considerate of everyone's privacy in such an intimate situation. As some had mentioned in previous comments, the problem is too many people.

I don't agree. I had never experienced such crowded conditions in North America as I did in London and yet there was so much civility and politeness. "Boy, the Brits are so civilized" I thought on many occasions.

We lined up for everything. Shopping for sausages or milk at the local butcher - line ups going out the front door - but everyone patient and polite. (do they still have these little butcher shops?) At first I was impatient as I was used to getting service RIGHT NOW. My UK friends told me that I had to learn patience.

I waited in long line-up for busses to arrive. No-one complained, no-one pushed past others when the bus arrived.

Even the neighbourhood pubs were hubs of civility with low conversations.

Could it be that Thatcherism/Reaganism and then globalization with their cut-throat attitudes about individualism and competition has trickled down to individuals throughout the world?

Wow, this is a really great and very telling article. I'm sure many people have stories very similar. This past weekend I was part of a traffic jam on a local Interstate highway - they closed the interstate because of a horrible accident. What amazed me is that people were turning around, going the WRONG DIRECTION on the Interstate as they just couldn't be bothered with obeying the law and waiting it out like the rest of us. I was furious, and actually called the police to report it. I never saw whether they got tickets, but they were definitely making the entire problem worse by their actions, which were completely selfish and wrong.

Our sense of individual entitlement has gone out of control. It's no wonder we've got governmental officials who run all over our constitutions - they are shining examples of the "give me what I want, and screw you if you don't like it" attitude. It's also an attitude of "you don't get to tell ME what to do, I tell YOU what to do"! Nobody wants to accept authority, and nobody wants to believe that there is a common good and common ground, it's either "with us or against us".

I'm beginning to wonder if a worldwide global wipe-out of the human race from a natural catastrophe or something isn't a bad idea. We are wrecking the planet, wrecking each other, and our children are not going to be any better. Our planet doesn't deserve this.

This is a topic I have given personal thought to. The writer being British, reminds me( I have never been to Britain) that the Brits are renowned for their politeness. It sounds like maybe they are not employing the same people and services that were once perhaps abundant, like doormen and conductors and others in the public space there, unarmed, just to help preserve civility. In America, we have done without someone to open our doors and pump our gas since the 1970's. And gee, talk about a sense of entitlement.. Americans have that one covered. We have a phenomenon here called "road rage".. now flash forward to our present tech age of chat rooms, comment sections and blogs.. Now I can only speak for myself and I really work hard at rising to a higher denominator. I too have evolved from sometime reactionary to trying to be "zen"like and listen and ultimately, they say our democracy depends on everyone having a say. So, I want to be myself and say what I think needs to be said, while always moving in a direction of How I can be more respectful.. Ultimately in our global, small-world, we each Represent. Being an adult is accepting that challenge to be evolved. There is my two cents.(no cents sign on my computer) Thanks to the author for bringing up an important subject.

There are too many of us crammed into cities and suburbs, with access to inedaquate infrastructure. Every day seems to be a competition for what little remains. We are overstretched and overburdened, leaving little energy for simple civility. Wrapped in our own problems, feeling a pressure of time, we plow through the crowd for that tiny advantage that might help us progress. The system treats us with contempt, and we internalize that and pass it on.

We are all strangers to each other, just passing through. We are suspicious of our neighbors, fearful of strangers. If we can afford it, we barricade ourselves in gated communities or with security systems.

It's much worse than mere rudeness or selfishness. Our businesses are mere trickery; our politicians are liars and our religious are charlatans. If that is the nature of our leadership, then, barring a major upheaval of consciousness or revolution, our citizenry cannot be more.

Sounds like the US is not the only "industrialized" nation that is spiraling down into the third world.

Maybe this is a stretch, but look at the example that's being set: the most powerful man, and his ilk, in the most powerful country exemplify the Us vs. Them, Me First attitude. Their M.O. is to lie, cheat, and steal so often that we can't catch our breath. And when they're called to account? They totally ignore their accusers and keep on going. Congressional hearing, subpeona? Just don't show up. Whether it's in London, or my own little hometown politics, what I'm seeing is just a trickle-down effect from the example that's being set.

This article seems to point to (but never specifically mentions ...why???) an important fact: there are FAR too many human beings. Who can blame us? We're stressed in a thousand ways, and we are only animals. The shock could be that things aren't much worse. Solution, solution ...who has the solution?

Best article today, otherwise. How many e-fistfights will we see in the comments on this one?

Civility is a product of civilization and social justice. It isn't something you can enforce. It doesn't come as a result of repressing your emotions, your thoughts, your speech. What you think and feel is a direct product of your environment, and if you live in an environment of constant violence, then you will operate with violent thoughts and feelings foremost in your mind. People who survive obey the real rules of the world around them.

Our society, particularly in the UK and in North America, rewards selfish consumptive behavior. It is the essence of our ever more deregulated capitalist society, where greed is a virtue. You only have to watch a smattering of commercials to see how vaunted selfish behavior is. But the core problem isn't even the messages we are bombarded with, it's how we are forced to live our lives. When our only collective responsibility is to consume, while individually we have to compete venomously with everyone for a wage; when public service becomes just another source of private profit, when each ticking moment is a commodity: well you're creating a particularly good environment for vicious competitive behavior. So really, is the problem at the Edmonton bus station a lack of manners or merely inadequate public transport combined with intense pressure on students to get to school on time?

If we want people to be more civil, admonishments and shame won't help at all. As best that will simply lead to more explosive anger. We need to collectively encourage the behavior we want to see in society by providing the civil foundations for it. We are, after all, doing that right at this moment with unfettered capitalism and consumption. We are bombarded by messages demanding we buy, and that the route to happiness is through material gain. We are transforming all public goods into privatized profit centers that squeeze out as much as possible from us, while providing a little as they can. Little wonder that when we spend so much time and energy on encouraging such a society that we see it reflected in the way people interact with each other.

The way to climb out of this morass isn't to repress. The way is to revisit reestablishing and repairing the civil foundations of our societies. One tiny step can be as simple as ensuring adequate public transit for children.

I suspect that the major cause of this angst, aside from overpopulation, is to be found in consumerism. We are assaulted daily with the need for more stuff, that we are blinded to simple social skills and necessities.

Our enormously productive economy....demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption. We need things consumed, burned up, worn out, replaced, and discarded at an ever increasing rate. - US retailing analyst Victor Lebeau, 1955

Come on folks. This lady's living in what we used to call the illusion of insulated white privilege. We got this country from genocide and we built it with forced human labor. The Celts of the British Isles first took an island, annihilated the indigenous people and built a global empire by sabering every man woman and child who refused to be a Slave in their Empire. Get REAL.

To get an "A" you should be the last "male" standing in class, or else have some very good motel photographs of the teacher.

To get the promotion you should assassinate the boss and his entire family, take his chair and kill anyone who wants to challenge your decision. Competition is for children until they learn how to kill. Are they in your way? Are they slow or weak? EAT THEM. RUN THEM OVER. STOMP THEM INTO BLOODY GOO. Because you can.

That's how we run our Societies. That's how we run our Corporations. That is the Power Game. Ask Maggie Thatcher.

No Prisoners. No mercy. No self-restraint. You can have anything you can take and hold. If you're not one of the diners, you are on the menu. Humans are food.

Whether that's a seat on a bus, or a shot at Prime Minister.

Teach'em young. Baby seals get eaten by sharks all the time. Fast food. IT'S THE NATURAL ORDER.

Now, I don't agree with any of this and it describes a perfect nightmare – BUT IT IS THE WORLD WE HAVE ALLOWED OUR MASTERS TO CREATE FOR US.

Do something about it or JUST SHUT UP – as our most popular pundits are wont to say.

Pieces of 8.

Stilba said: "there are FAR too many human beings"

The psychological carrying capacity of a land is much lower than its physical carrying capacity. Money can help alleviate the constant 'ego-slap' of people jostled around in a city. Money can purchase order, but, perhaps more importantly, money can purchase beauty (lasting beauty, NOT the beauty of this years lip gloss). The resultant boost to the ego can keep it from falling off the deep end, even in an otherwise ego-sapping urban environment.

But money isn't especially well shared in America and, probably, Britian these days. The beauty it purchases is gated and not for the publics eyes. The urban public responds by becoming 'immune' to beauty, ie street-savvy, or just coarse.

I have, for some time, noted the drying up of public fountains in America. What, after all, does a fountain bring to the public besides beauty? And shouldn't modern beauty be found exclusively in the local shopping mall? There are still fountains, of course. You'll see them outside fancy businesses near their logos. They are clever, space-efficient, high-tech devices sprouting from and into concrete. I've noticed that these latter fountains have no place to SIT around them, no place for children to play. They are 'see but no touch' devices only. There's nothing quite as depressing as watching a child respond to one of these devices: they skirt it like a dog skirts its favorite tree, their hands anxious to interrupt the waters flow, but its all off-limits.

KaneJeeves- You're right. There is a trickle down, of morality.

There is no or little accountability of ghigh government officials or institutions, yetat least in the US, the parroting of individual responsibility.

It's hypocracy to the highest.

Fortunately or unfortunately, young people know at least that the powers that be don't give a rat's ass about thier lives, now or in the future. So things like being decent to each other go out like the baby an\wth the bath water.

The UNMITIGATED GREED AND POWER LUST of the powerful in our societyies and world are driving this "Don't give damn about others" behavior.

It's ironic and hypocritical when First Furerfrau Laura Bush has a tag line at the end of an ad for youth mentoring, " Be a friend, be a mentor." Use youth as cannon fodder, cut meaningful education with psuedo-educational programs like "No Child Left Behind", cut fuel assistance but dont tax excess oil company profits...I could go on all day.

It's clear that the scum have risen to the top. Woth the Rupert Murdoch's and corporate driven media of GE & Disney want to keep us ignorant and misinformed. Their media attack dogs (apologies to canines everywhere) aren't there for discourse. They are pyromanics as fire-enhancers.

And you wonder why society is a mess. Why people are uncivil. If you look at humanist psychologists Erikson and Asimov about building grounded people up and did the opposite, that's what is going on.

ALT 0162 = ¢

You can use the Alt codes to type special characters Turn on the Num Lock, hold down the ALT key and type in the number using the numerical keypad of your computer.

I can't say as I blame people for being rude and pushy. Why? It gets results. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

We are such a me first/customer service oriented society, that we are taught now from a young age to howl bloody murder if we don't get our way, or if our order is filled incorrectly at a hamburger stand.

Nowhere to be seen are the disaproving looks, or the collective "shhhh" to someone who is being rude, or even the Seinfeldian "no soup for you" shouted at customer who is holding up everyone else.

Bad manners work. Nice people get stepped on. I know, I've gotten a lot of shoe prints on me for trying to be the considerate guy over the years.

ubrew12: Nice observation on the fountains. Kind of like how the closest things we have to public squares are shopping malls.

analogies are where you find them, and relevent to some but not all. The Japanese subway system is an efficient people mover, very necesary to a crowded society. On each station there are those whose job it is to "pack" people into cars. They actually push and shove until not a single bit of space remains and then signal for the doors to close. Noone gives a darn either, just a cultural anomaly, perhaps? Noone in Japan thinks this rude at all.

Bloggers who demonstrate the behavior cited in the article can simply be ignored. Lacking a reaction they will simply disappear, sooner or later. I find this article to be more of an excuse than a positive , perhaps its just me.

So... What's the solution? Increased social pressure to conform? Censorship of the arts? Drug people who express unhappiness? Teach children in school to not be introspective? Ban psychology?

Turn-taking is the bedrock of civility in any culture (and also of democracy itself). Once that concept is gone it's every man for himself.

Stilba - you're right, the mall has become our public square. If you've ever worked in one (as I have) you know that people meet their friends there, have meals there, kids date there, go to movies there, just sit on a bench to have a private chat with a friend. The poor hang out there in winter because it's warm and in the summer because it's cool. And the lonely just like to be around other people for a while.

I'm not sure there's anything wrong with that except that we shouldn't have so many poor and lonely people. "All the lonely people - where do they all come from?"

"...Treat people like animals and, chances are, they will end up behaving like them..."

That is exactly why they do it

One word: Community.

Without community in the real world, which most people don't have any true sense of, this is exactly what you get. And the internet is just an extension of this. Humans are communal animals, so what happens when we are all shuttered off from each other and never have any connection beyond virtual communication? I think humanity has to re-think this whole thing (ie, modern society) before we destroy what makes us human in the first place.

I like being an individual. I don't mind communicating with others and at times I even have relationships with some. But in general I prefer going through my own motions. My life is my personal trip. People used to find me strange, though less and less since modern devices increasingly have encouraged this kind of behaviour, but they never accused me of being rude or impolite. To me politeness has always been a fair and fairly cheap price to pay for my freedom. It is difficult for me to understand how individuality could be the root of unsocial behaviour. Being alone never has been unsatisfactory to me, it has never made me want to hate or harm other people. I think growing individuality is a perfect natural development. Just as the stars in the universe keep spreading since day one, so are we diverging in our own separate ways. This is our destiny. We were always meant to become spirits. As for the madness at the bus stop: thirty years ago nobody would get fired for being late at work. It is the unfortunate people who lack personal freedom that are pressed by economic reality to behave like morons.

Stilba said: "ubrew12: Nice observation on the fountains. Kind of like how the closest things we have to public squares are shopping malls."
I know one public square that became a shopping mall: Union Square in San Francisco. Once a normal grassy square where people could park their butts for awhile, or lie down on a park bench, they PAVED IT OVER and put in benches you couldn't lie down on. I listened to a public concert there a few months ago, and everyone in the audience was jostling for a place behind the central monument: the only shade left in the square. Tarrying for more than 15 minutes was out of the question, your feet got sore on the concrete.

The purpose of Union Square in San Francisco is the same new purpose of all our public parks: its a walkway between malls. No lingering, no smelling of roses, just get thee to a Macy's and buy some cr*p you don't need, or even want. Anything to get into a air-conditioned environment.

ubrew12: "I know one public square that became a shopping mall: Union Square in San Francisco..."

I hear that, from one San Franciscan to another.

The institutions of commerce and elite rule treat us like sheep and for the most part we comply, out of fear, exhaustion, laziness, or short-term self-interest or for many because we actually "love Big Brother!". When they don't treat us like sheep they treat us like raging toddlers in the sandbox. We comply with that too.

With so much of life a mad rush to consume and conform, there isn't much space left for "freedom" or real "individuality". So out there in the world, on the highway, on the bus, in the train station, on the Internet, safe in our anonymity, we exploit the tiny openings we have for expressing ourselves. Only instead of thoughtful expression guided by reflection leading to civil discourse and maybe positive action, we content ourselves with putting the other guy "in his place" - somewhere behind us. We thus confuse pointless transgression against strangers with the substance of freedom. Then for a split second we feel better, as we do when we watch some hapless designated loser get humiliated on a "reality" show. But then after awhile we feel terrible again because we know somewhere in whatever is left of our consciences that the other guy's meaningless humiliation is not our victory; it is our shame.

Or we did know that once. Now, shame is going the way of irony (and civility). Barely Human wants a solution: Lay your store of human decency among your kids, your neighbors, their kids and the old lady down the street. And hope something survives.

As Thorstein Veblen observed (to paraphrase), the lower classes usually emulate the behavior, attempt to buy the status symbols and incorporate the ideas of the upper-classes.

Thus, Thatcher could note that there is no such thing as society. There are only individuals.

Welcome to the "I-Me-Mine" Age of Me-first greed enhancement.

This is what the sociopathic corporate entities (SCEs) want us to become. They want us to believe that the desire for domination over community is human nature. They want us to believe that consumerism is more rewarding than citizenship. They want us to go on hating our miserable jobs and to play the lottery.

How do we resist? How about dumping the two corporate-owned parties and building up the Green Party? If you haven't already, check out the GP's ten key values at gp.org. They hold everything that terrifies the SCEs.

Got caught in a wicked afternoon snow storm a month and a half ago in Boston. All the workplaces public and private let their employees out early and at the same time. The streets were an absolute madhouse as the snow came down fast. In order to make any progress and not get stuck in unmoving traffic with the snow getting ever deeper, I had to do some pretty outrageous and rather uncivil if not illegal things or it would have taken me seven or eight hours to get home instead of five and a half. Several times I "broke the law" by doing some "unusual maneuvers" and was uncivil in that I refused to just sit in my car not moving. Civility is good but not when it becomes sheepishness. And sometimes being outrageous might even save your life.

The argument that there are too many people is a right winger's take. There would be plenty of food to go around, for example, if people ate less meat. 90% or so of the food eaten by a cow is wasted. Try eating veggies instead of a cow that eats veggies. One acre supports a vegetarian; seventeen acres are needed to support a meat eater. This right wing rant of too many people is just another fraud perpetrated by people who don't know how to think clearly or who are morally blind. Which is it?

What surprised me when I first visited Europe, I have never been to England so I cannot speak to their situation, is that no one at all waits on line for anything they press in wherever they choose. I don't know if it is cultural or what the heck it is but it sure is an annoyance.
I always know when I am in a public buying area in the US and a person goes to the front or pushes in most times than not they are not from this country.
If someone could speak on this I certainly would appreciate it.

Thank you very much, Miss Manners. If you blame the lack of civility in our culture on the blogs rather than the psychopathic, murderous pieces of human filth who run the society, crawl back into your hole and stay there. How's that for another contemptable lack of etiquette?

bakunin, have you tried public transportation? I imagine Boston has a reliable system. I'm glad you made it home safely, and I'm glad that your "unusual maneuvers" didn't result in injuries to yourself or others.

Right on LUCKY LEFTY!

All this has made me look at the situation of rage and agressiveness and our communal spaces. I think it is a direct relation to the attitude at the top. A trickle-down result. Hell yeah, people collectively (writers for example these days or pick any other workers group on any other day) are treated like nuisances to the bottom line. A cost benefit analysis is done on most prospective employees. That is: will their personal life weigh down the bottom line.
Honestly, most of this cement world and lack of friendly and free park space - or un- pesticide sprayed parks- Silent Spring is another topic. has become overwhelming to me and I almost never drive on the freeway because of the speed and agressiveness of drivers. Yeah, great solution most people cant afford. I managed to get a job on the same street that I live near. A disclaimer here; it isnt that I cant be as aggressive as the rest of 'em, it is just I cant stand "being" aggressive. Ultimately, and living in America, everyone in their own cars except for poor people and disabled people- being all alone in my car- and then having anger while at the wheel-can be kind of existential. Me, all alone , in my car, with my anger. So clinical, clean. A different experience elbow to elbow on the London trains. C'mon England, if you arent polite , who is??

The only solution I can come up with, short of an institutional change from the top. ie leaders who believe in the common good, the common wealth.. is a personal one of taking the time to be friendly and polite. I always thank gentlemen/ and women that open the door for me, or a smile or small courtesies go a long way in this kind of environment. Having a five yr old son has helped me alot to try that much harder to model the right behavior. Maybe we all need to manifest our inner parents and be real role models for those scared little children on that aggressive morning commute. There is hope, but I do sympathize with the workers who are under extreme pressures.

MEDUSA says, "We are all strangers to each other, just passing through. We are suspicious of our neighbors, fearful of strangers. " The USE of fear to create a sense of separation has been used dramatically by the Bush administration, and let's face it, Tony Blair bought the whole boogy man thing in order to draw the U.K into the Iraqi debacle.
.
KENE JEEVES adds, "the most powerful man, and his ilk, in the most powerful country exemplify the Us vs. Them, Me First attitude." There is NO question there is a "trickle down" effect as portrayed by the sociopathic tendencies of our unelected Prez.

HEWMON says, "What you think and feel is a direct product of your environment, and if you live in an environment of constant violence, then you will operate with violent thoughts and feelings foremost in your mind." Again this hits the crux of the breakdown in societal mores on the head.

So when BARELY HUMAN asks what we can do, much comes from the example set by leadership. Much comes from whether we approach each other with an attitude of fear and anxiety, or respect and consideration.

JAREILLY is onto something with his description of the unnatural speed of modern urban life. Your observation in my view also explains why poor inner city kids who lack solid role models and fall between the cracks find a need to leave their mark in graffiti painted on trains and other public property. That may be the only mark they can leave to be SEEN in a society where they are little more than an ant.

Ironically.. it has been the Corporate Capitalistic system that has encouraged this. Each of us is encouraged to live only for ourselves. Why should any of us be inconvienced by sharing, or being a part of a community. From our cars to all our technology. We can alienate others, make others feel jealous, close out people, ignore, drive faster to get away, wear clothes and perfume that offend and live larger than life to show off to others.

Consumerism has created a rabid community, we knock over others to get the best deal on the biggest tv.. So we never have to leave the home to be around others. WE can watch Movies not with the unwashed masses.. but with our unwashed families... instead.

UGH!!!

O roe,

I have been in 35 countries and I have found, especially in the Mid East and Far East that no one waits in line. I remember in 1981 when I first went to Saudi Arabia on my way to Jeddah I had to change planes at Dhahran. When the plane came in everyone ran for the bus to be taken to the plane and once there you had to wait on the tarmac until the doors were open and then everyone ran up the stair and down the aisles of the plane to get a seat. In Hong Kong people seem to be a bit more patient and polite than people in China. Same thing, no one would wait for anyone else to do anything. I first went to England in 1974 and I was amazed at how polite everyone was as far as waiting their turn goes. The first time I ever had to stand back from a teller at a bank so the person in front of me could do their business was in England, I thought that was really polite. In the states we would just walk up behind the person and wait. Of course, now its different. If you don't push and shove in the Middle East you won't get anything if there is a crowd. I think this comes from human nature. I hate to say uncivilized, but don't animals do the same thing? Funny thing tho, I have two dogs and they always wait their turn no matter what we are doing: feeding, putting on leashes to go for a walk or just loving so I think that being polite and waiting ones turn is a learned action, we are not born with it and if we perceive the situation calls for it, our natural animal instincts appear for lack of self control. I think self control is what is lacking in our children today, because they have not been taught otherwise. Shame.

SIOUXROSE - Eeeeeyupp! It's not an accident.

Also, from the train, I see a lot of graffiti - some of it is quite beautiful. I wonder who, at what time of night, how many or are they solitary? Stoned/drink or sober? Ages? If young, don't their parents miss them? How long does it take to design a wall, or begfore the cops come? It's an interesting phenomenon - has anyone seen any literature about it? I know there have been graffiti art shows and festivals, but has anyone done a sociological study of the spontaneous phenomenon? Frankly, I'd prefer to see the graffiti to all the giant ads all over the walls, floors, bus and train cars.

Hi Octotroph,

The really really horrible and depressing thing is that some of us have tried and tried and tried and tried both to teach and to model civility, generosity and kindness to our children, only to see this bloody culture run our efforts over like a semi truck and teach our kids the opposite.

Hanuman

How did you know what was going on in the villages?
Interesting ideas but hard to know what is reality....

twist

keyinside January 28th, 2008 3:05 pm wrote:
"Bad manners work. Nice people get stepped on. I know, I've gotten a lot of shoe prints on me for trying to be the considerate guy over the years."

I think that good manners also work. Especially if they truly reflect what's inside of you. It depends on what you want to achieve. From the point of view of karma, good manners are really the only thing that works. You can shout and scream if you are irritated with people around you, but it will only drag you down even further.
Don't worry about shoe prints all over you if people abuse your being 'considerate'. Spiritually, you are still the stronger one. The whole point is to not let anti-social people drag you down to their level. Trust me, you won't find happiness there; rather stay where you are now while maintaining a positive image of yourself.

It is really no fun being cynical and individualistic, even if you get a nice seat in the bus.

Reminds me of the afternoon a few thousand of us attended a speaking engagement by the Dalai Lama at UCLA. At its end we all made for our cars and gridlocked the parking structures and the roads leading from campus. Horns were honked. Voices were raised. A few drivers flipped off their equally unable-to-move brethren. The message of peace and human unity we'd spent the afternoon hearing seemed to be context-specific.

Wow, makes you want to give up on blogs. Could it be the law of averages? When more and more people turn to the internet to get news and socialize disagreement and anger are bound to result. Human nature has it's pitfalls.

In my opinion it's not individulaism it's the loss of any sense of community caused by a one world view of everything.

We should localize not globalize. All politics and civility are local.

I think Erich Fromm explained all of this fifty years ago in his profound book, "To Have or to Be?" Contemporary persons overwhelmingly have chosen to have and except the implicit equation: I am what I have and what I consume. Everyone else becomes a threat to the identity of the narcissist. What little hope there is of avoiding the catastrophe of a Huxleyian world lies in cultivating the desire to be. Children naturally want to be and become. Unfortunately, we all too quickly teach them to possess and to consume as the bases of modern life.

Maybe it is one more way that the rust belt city of Pittsburgh is "backward" - but I've been in some pretty packed buses and trolleys and courtesy rules to a fault. And drivers can be so courteous that it can cause accidents.

Just because some individuals act like jerks does not mean they, we, all do.

Individualism is, in fact, all there is or ever was. By that I mean that even those who genuinely care for and try to advance a collective good make an individual decision to do so. The notion of a sort of "collective conscience" is just the flip side of "mob rule." Both tend to ignore that every decision is made by a single person. In the case of the former, that is probably okay, because, by my definition, it can lead to good results. As for the latter, I think talking of the "mob" is dangerous, for it tends to forgive the members for their individual acts, forgiveness not usually warranted.

Or, why not just say, "Well, everybody's doing it."

have been a dreams reader for years..felt compelled to comment on this one (first time!) perhaps the article points to why we (U.S.) citizens are percieved to sit back and "let" our government get away with its crimes. a sense of togetherness, rather than isolation,would help us band together and achieve our common dreams!!!

The population of the planet increases at three additional people per second.

When people begin to discuss the uncivility of having more kids on this already poisoned and overcrowded planet, then we will get somewhere.

Until then it's all just whining and ignoring the root cause of the issues.