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A Community Values Christmas
I'm Jewish. In fact, following my first-ever full-blown Christmas with my partner's family, an aunt re-introduced me to a cousin saying, "You remember Sally. She was the token Jew at Christmas."
It was true. I'm outsider to the religious parts of the holiday. But I'm no stranger to the values and culture of Christmas. Far more than just a religious occasion, Christmas in the American tradition is a celebration of family, community and generosity - a tradition of community values.
Every year now, we schlep out to rural Illinois with a haul of presents. This year, my partner and I tried to balance our environmental "life is about more than consumption" view of the world with the recognition that it's fun to give people things and we don't exactly have the time or lifestyle that allows for hand-knit scarves and such. But at the end of the day, after all the shopping and spending and wrapping and stuffing into the stockings, the stuff is just stuff. What we celebrate are not the presents but the people - that they took the time to do something so thoughtful and giving.
Selflessness is an American value. We go out of our way to get our grandmother a really nice, really overpriced hat even though we know she's only going to get us another weird pair of socks. Just like the rest of the year we volunteer and give money to charity, hold doors open for strangers, pay our taxes, leave good tips at restaurants, read the news in Burma or the Congo and feel empathy, look after the children playing ball near the street.
Every day, in ordinary and extraordinary ways, all of us do things to show our deep love and connection to the people around us - not only our families, but our neighbors, our countrymen, our fellow human beings. Everyday, we give of ourselves without expecting anything in return but simply out of common decency, knowing that we're all in it together. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, "We are all caught in an inescapable web of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects us all indirectly." This sense of the greater good is the spirit of Christmas and the soul of America.
Unfortunately, our nation has lost its way in the last several decades. Forces from Hollywood to Washington have tried to convince us we're on our own, that it's a dog-eat-dog competitive world and you have to "look out for number one." While we once prioritized our shared duty to help the least among us, today we spend more time cutting taxes and attacking gay marriage than solving the sub-prime mortgage crisis or reducing pollution. While we once celebrated our diversity as a nation, we now spend more effort policing our borders and dismantling affirmative action than providing healthcare and economic opportunity for all. Many of us have come to believe that the only way to get ahead is to leave others behind - which has led to greedy excess for a small few but only struggle and disappointment for the rest of us.
So it's fitting that Christmastime comes at the end of the calendar year. It's the perfect time to re-think what we value as individuals and as a nation. Is it really just the accumulation of stuff, at any cost? Or do we deeply care about the people around us, our communities in the smaller and larger meanings of the word, the world we live in? If what we love about Christmas is really the spirit of togetherness, then what does it mean to live that togetherness year-round?
I can't wait for the cookies. I can't wait for the eggnog. I can't wait for my extremely long purple-and-red knit stocking which hangs next to the rest of the family's traditional white-and-red ones. But what I really can't wait for is the conversation, the smiles, the love, the appreciation, sharing the holiday together with people I care about and giving to them not because I have to but simply because it gives me joy.
Even though I'm Jewish, I love Christmas - for the same reason millions of US-born citizens support immigrant rights and millions of white people oppose racial profiling and millions of middle class families support safety net programs for the poor. We are a nation of people who care about more than just ourselves - not just at Christmas but year-round. We are a nation of community values, where we move forward further together.
This year, I know I'll get drunk on eggnog. And then I'll go home and pay my taxes and give money to social change organizations and vote and fight like hell for justice in politics and the world with the same spirit of community values that we're all blessed to receive at Christmas.
Sally Kohn is the Director of the Movement Vision Lab (www.movementvisionlab.org)
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17 Comments so far
Show AllIsrael???
"Selflessness is an American value."
Yeah right. The statement should read "Selfishness is an American value". Why else is this country FUCKED. Ok, so this country is "selfless" when it comes to giving in to countries such as China, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Pakistan, etc ... corrupt regimes that are known as the most BLATANT violators of human rights but happily give countries in real need the middle finger through wars and "free" trade bullshit.
P.S.: I'll bet rural IL is angry as hell to watch their most trusted Democrat Obama sell them out !
I don't get it.
How much subtle discrimination goes on at these gatherings that Sally tolerates?
When does this turn into something that she can't take anymore from one of her mate's intolerant relatives?
My sensitive soul would not last but two evenings without handing something back.
At one time America did not know.
I think that is why it was Selfless.
Now the good christians feel threatend by other religions and dark skin
When I was a kid, travelling to the states, a lady offered to buy me LPs for me - four of them - at a kmart. Out of the goodness of her heart. Just standing in the line behind me.
This would not happen today.
Especially not in the south.
If you DO end up buying things this holiday season, make sure they do not exploit workers. To find gifts that respect workers' rights, check out the 2008 Shop With A Conscience Guide from the International Labor Rights Forum, SweatFree Communities and Sweatshop Watch: http://www.sweatfree.org/shopping
And make sure the avoid the companies on the Sweatshop Hall of Shame: http://www.sweatfree.org/hallofshame
Selflessness is an American value.
Since..?
I've found that selflessness really is an American value - but among actual people, not our government. My friends and family go out of their way to help each other. A few years ago, I got stranded when my car broke down about a hundred miles from home. After getting AAA to tow me, no fewer than five of my friends said I should never do that again. They all have tow trucks or access to them and would have driven that far to get me!
Each year some of my young friends come to my home and clear the brush from the sides of my 1,000 foot long driveway. I've gotten free firewood - split and stacked - from friends who have a firewood business. Others have cleaned my house, mowed my grass, and weeded my garden while dogsitting when I was on vacation.
Two nights a week, my husband has invited some of our friends to eat with us because both are bachelors and neither has much money. (He does the cooking.) I often send little carepackages home with them, too.
At Christmas, gift exchange is much more than just going to the store and trying to find some object to satisfy the requirement. Many of my acquaintances and family make gifts or perform acts of kindness and giving. One year, my son didn't have a lot of money, so he wrote four poems about the changing seasons in beautiful caligraphy. I have them hanging in my living room, and they are among my most memorable gifts.
These are just a few examples of the ways in which people are willing to go out of their way to help each other. Just because our government is so greedy and power hungry does not translate into the same for regular people.
The US wealthy elite no longer believe "We are all in this together." They have foreign consumers for their products and often foreign workers to create their products. As the value of labor equalizes, they prepare for the not-so-distant future when American laborers can barely afford a day's rice and live lives full of anger, resentment, sickness, and despair. And they are secluding themselves in their gated communities, or even on their own islands, hoping that they can emerge unscathed from a time of great upheaval.
And they enthusiastically support investment in new weapons systems and police state technology as they will depend on it to maintain their high quality of life when those around them are suffering and dying.
And that is why Christmas has no meaning anymore in the US of A.
"You remember Sally. She was the token Jew at Christmas."
How is it that so few Christians realize that THE ENTIRE FAMILY IN THE NATIVITY SCENE IS JEWISH? Every semester fully one-third to one-half of my comparative religion students walk away with their minds blown---by the revelation that Jesus was a Jew! WTF?!
I can't even begin to imagine what those same students make of "form is emptiness, emptiness also is form" when we get around to studying Buddhism.
ezeflyer, i'm confused - what does Israel have to do with anything here?
JBPM: Gracias!
LEE ANN G: Great posting. I think we of the forum can admit that by processing all the info we read here, (daily or whatever), and reading each others' comments, we can get heavied out, mentally. Although there are MANY things that deserve our discernment (or critical judgment and further analysis), we should also look to the BEAUTY of the human experience, and note where we are being supported by life's elementals, our own efforts, those who came before us, and those who presently nurture us. There is MUCH goodness, kindness and generosity... and it's needed like a light to penetrate the dark cancerous diseases of greed, enmity and envy.
Selflessness IS a value - for many people in many lands. It's always been part of my life. I have been the benefactor of it - and I have found joy in helping others, giving to others. Those who say selflessness is not an American value are probably the most miserly of individuals ... sometimes we give with an open hand but a tightly closed heart. I dug this article. Sorry if that bugs anyone.
There is only truth and kindness; the rest isn't worth your time.
Is Christmas actually all that Christian anyway? Seems to be a catch-all holiday to unite the various beliefs of Empire. A little Rome tossed in, Germanic paganism with the tree/yule/solstice, and good ol' fashioned capitalism. And now globalism. Without the Chinese, we'd probably have no lights, ornaments or much in the way of presents either.
America's problem is that Christmas is a "let's find a meaning for this holiday" sort of holiday. Redefined every year, it seems. Cast as human-interest stories on the MSM, and profit margins in the business section.
kimborambo said:
"ezeflyer, i'm confused - what does Israel have to do with anything here?"
She forgot to add it to our list of grievances.
I haven't read the article yet, but have read a few of the first reader comments and will comment on that basis.
Vision Lab? Sounds like it's possibly yet ANOTHER CIA front organisation.
Selflessness, American value? Sure, to be without self is to be without SOUL. So sure, it's an atrociously common American value.
To truly care about others, and I am not speaking of only friends and family, for then caring becomes very selfish, this requires not selflessness, but a lot of self, SOUL. Others have abandoned their souls in exchange for atrocious ignorance, which these people live in terms that are blissful to them, and selfishness; like for material possessions and/or caring only about those close to us.
Hellish bliss that is, while only the victims and other innocents recognise this sort of bliss for what it really is; hellish.
Selflessness the way LeeAnnG speaks of her friends is nothing worthy of note; excuse my bluntness. They were doing this for a friend, not for a total stranger, not for real victims, and there's nothing wrong with using AAA; not for people who can afford the services AAA is used to obtain at slightly, very slightly lower cost. It has been useful to me two or three times; f.e., when caught in deep freeze in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and my car needed a battery boost, calling CAA, the Canadian chapter, solved my problem in little time and at no cost to me, my membership having covered for this service.
People confuse terminology and reality with twisted definitions. To be selfless does not necessarily mean being selfish to abusive or harmful extents, some selfishness being important; it's part of survival and can be lived in strictly constructive ways. But when it's abusive towards others, then it's obviously wrong. And selfless does literally mean to be without self, which logically means being without SOUL, for soul relates to self, and vice versa. If you have no soul, then you have no self worthy of note; and v.v.
F.e., Bush is selfless. He's abandoned his soul, albeit probably never knew that he was supposed to have one, else never learned what it means to have one, and has at best half of each side of what should be a brain between his two ears, instead of two full halves. That's the best he has, else there's nothing between his two ears and he's just some sort of echo of the voices of his instructors or puppeteers. :)
The self can't separate itself from the soul; and v.v. The soul is who each of us is, and the self is either the soul, or that plus what we add, such as with education and learning from experiences. In any case, they're not really separable.
That's how I'll treat the terminology. No one will find me illogically employing these terms. They either make sense or they don't, and the latter makes for lousy definitions. If something does not make sense, then it seems dumb to adopt it; imo.
Hence, treating selfless the way it logically should be used, sure, U.S. culture is full of selflessness. :)
Now I've read the article, and I find Sally in part right, and in part illustrating tragedy AGAIN. She speaks of the U.S., Americans, as if it's ever been a good, morally good culture, and it has NEVER been that; except for some individuals. Americans liking to speak so nobly regularly, nearly constantly NEGLECT the REAL history of the USA and the ever-since perpetual genocide of the original peoples, the First Nations Peoples of their land that was robbed from them with extreme brutality, and treaties with them NEVER respected. It's perpetual, for it continues and there's no end in sight, so there's no justice for them in sight, either.
That's being selfless the way I said it logically should be understood.
QUOTE: " Juliann December 20th, 2007 7:41 pm
Selflessness IS a value - for many people in many lands. It's always been part of my life. I have been the benefactor of it - and I have found joy in helping others, giving to others. ..."
THAT IS NOT being selfless, else you would not feel joy, for it is the self that is feeling that joy from helping others. Geesh; people have difficulty thinking logically.
Following is a BETTER article, and the author has others previously posted at the same site with titles specifically referring to American HYPOCRISY, so the articles should be easy to find by going to the GR author's index for Lendman.
"Holiday Season Hypocrisy
by Stephen Lendman
Global Research, December 20, 2007"
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=7661
That is more fitting for this and many future and past Christmases in the U.S., or simply West, the wealthy parts of the West.
Quoting from another post here:
" kivals December 20th, 2007 4:06 pm
The US wealthy elite no longer believe "We are all in this together." They have foreign consumers for their products and often foreign workers to create their products. As the value of labor equalizes, they prepare for the not-so-distant future when American laborers can barely afford a day's rice and live lives full of anger, resentment, sickness, and despair. ...
..."
YES, AND AMERICANS USUALLY LOVE TO BUY THOSE PRODUCTS, TOO; LET'S NOT FORGET.
To many of you commenting here, what an intolerant and selfish lot you are.
To Sally and the others............
Feliz Navidad & Año Nuevo Prospero