mr. nader,
the one thing you fail is to factor in the fact the the united states divorce rate is around 50%. this sort wrecks havoc our you article. not to mention other family models like same sex. your family is unique but not the norm. i know of nothing harder than to recreate a 'family' after a divorce. the furthest thing from my mind is creating traditions since all the traditions died in the divorce. are you referring to the idea of family that is part of the great america myth? i have never known a family like yours. the ones that i know, most of them, are rather disfunctional.

It all hooks into a larger problem of self-, family-, and community-determination. There are multiple causes which have wrecked these ancient (going back to proto-human forbears) social pacts. These various levels (self/family/community) of ground-up determination have been replaced by top-down sources.

It also hooks into dignity, self-identity, even self-preservation. Dignity is an interesting thing -- it's possible to take it away from people, but not to give it. It has to come from within. Think of it as cultural "old growth". One can wreck it, but not create it.

At least, not overnight. Rebuilding/reinventing traditions is the stuff of a lifetime.

@jbs

That is sad that you have never known a "normal" family. By that do you mean they don't function in a constructive way? Even single parent (and same sex)homes can have traditions and be a safe place to fall.

I am part of that two-parent "ideal". Our kids are fortunate to sit down to a family dinner every night and we have dinner discussions about school about work and about current events. We don't "try" to have these discussions, they just happen. These discussions happen in the car to/from activities and to/from the store.

Both my husband and I are active in the community, though not through church (we don't practice any religion). Our oldest (HS soph) volunteers outside of school activities as does our middle schooler. It's not something my parents or sister do/did when I was growing up. It's something we created.

I think much of the problem is that we as a society have become very ME centered and immediate family centered. Look at our neighborhoods. How many of us know our neighbors beyond first names? How many of us try to form relationships with our neighbors? Whereas in my grandmother's generation, community and traditions were a social event, now they almost seem to many to be another thing to be endured.

I admire Ralph in his efforts to try and help Americans understand what is wrong today with our society, and consequently our country. But Ralph is asking for something for something in short supply in America today. Honesty and transparency. It's much easier to take the easy way out in America today than to face up to the truth. Our society is being torn apart by our political system. Our current batch of political whores in D.C. are all working for the same party. The Uncle Buck Party. They have kicked out Uncle Sam and are rewriting the Constitution to enable a fascist government to wear its IRON HEEL at home.
Hoa binh

Ralph is absolutely correct in his prescription for the betterment of society. It is how children are brought up which defines their character as adults. Children are almost always what you make them, with the few deviant exceptions that nature tosses in.

recycle1, jbs, others

Agreed, the ME society is the biggest problem. I don't think divorce need have anything to do with this. To flourish, children require only love and attention (though Nader's prescription for wisdom can certainly help). The 50s family model may or may not provide that. Single/divorced parents may or may not provide that. I don't even think the beasts who serve as our elected leaders, or the community's ability to self-determine, have near the influence a dedicated parent/guardian has.

Ralph is right: we could all know ourselves a lot better (in depth, not in vanity), and the best way to ensure the next generation has that is to teach them critical thought.

I know there are families in which children spend too much time in front of screens, where parents don't engage with their children, and too little conversation goes on. But this is not always the case.

In 2001, both my brother and sister died from unrelated causes while in their 50s. In the following years, two of my sister's daughters had babies. Partly as a result of these events, we have made extra efforts for the past 6 years to maintain an extended family including getting together for holidays.

Last year I had a houseful of my own grown sons and my late sister's children and grandchildren. This year, only one of my nieces was able to come with her family. But all of the gatherings are characterized by conversation, activities, joint efforts to prepare food, and lots of interaction with the children.

This year, the adults took my niece's 2 year old daughter and 4 year old son for walks, did artwork with them, played on the floor with their toys, and let them help make dinner. I had several long talks with my greatnephew. The kids gave me and my husband t-shirts their mother had helped them paint for us.

It is not always true that people are not involved with their kids. In fact, I also keep hearing that parents are just too involved with them, that there are too many organized activities, that kids are in soccer, art classes, ballet, and t-ball, to the degree that they have no time to just run and play.

All of these seemingly opposing notions are true to one degree or another, but when you get to the heartland in the small towns and rural areas, when you see how many people drive hundreds of miles to be with their families, when you realize how many massive meals were cooked last week, and when you also become aware of how many families attend church together (no matter if you think this is good or not) it's kind of narrow to declare that we as a nation are not in touch with our loved ones.

Every once in awhile I post something to this effect and talk about the people I know who eat dinner with their children each evening, who regularly get together with friends and family to play games or music, and who are there for each other day or night. (If an emergency occurred at 2:00 a.m., I'd have at least 10 different friends I could call for help without hesitation, and they'd feel the same.) Usually someone will post back saying how unique this is. Maybe I'm just really lucky, but this is my experience, and it's not limited to one geographical region.

Mr Nader..Please bring those traditions to government and help get this dream back on track. Run with Kucinich...I don't care who has the top spot...you may switch back and forth for all I care. Integrity...honesty...morality.....they aren't anachronisms yet, are they??

Mr. Nader, you are a man of high integrity, values, morals, and principles. Your contributions to this society are held in high regard and are above reproach. I apologize and fully retract my previous statements about you and apologize to you and your family for any discomfort they may have caused. May you live a long and healthy life so that you may achieve success in your current endeavors. In the languages of the world: Peace. Shalom. Salaam. Shanti, shanti, shanti.

This message sponsored by Zyprexa. http://www.zyprexa.com/about_zyprexa.jsp

TO THE LONELY AND ISOLATED -
Don't underestimate what you can accomplish. You don't have a cohesive family? Build one. You don't have to "fall in love" to build lasting relationships with people. Members of a family don't have to be blood related to be close. Your family doesn't have to include a child bearing woman, although babies do add an additional element of unconditional love and, of course, entertainment potential. Puppies are lovable and funny, too.

You can join or create group/s of similarly-minded people. They won't be just like you, which is a good thing, right? Your group can be a political action group, a religious group, a group of atheists, people interested in art, music groups, etc. The sooner you drop your pretenses and the longer you hang together, the closer you will become. It's human nature.

You might be thinking: "I don't want to join a group that would have me as a member." Remember, this is a common pitfall. Get to know people and do your best to enjoy and like them. It's hard to do at first but eventually you'll begin to reap the benefits. The biggest hurdle is your fear of others and your impatience. If you're a social climber, you'll make a lousy family member, so be wary of that particular pitfall. If someone in your group displays that characteristic or other selfish ones, help them over it before they destroy themselves and ruin your family building project.

We're conditioned - by tv and advertising - to be super-critical of another's motives, dress, socio/economic position, physical characteristics, body odor, etc. We live lonely, isolated lives because we're held back by these insecurities, which can eventually take the form of hatred for ourselves and others.

Remember the old song: "What the world needs now is love sweet love..." and "I'll get by with a little help from my friends."

I'd like to propose an analogy. Ralph Nader is the Grandfather of the progressive movement. Whether or not he's given respect by all of our progressive family, he still has much to offer all of us.

If we will listen.

If we can develop listening and critical thinking skills.

Dennis Kucinich is part of a merchant party... a merchant party which cannot be trusted. I would advise against Ralph throwing his reputation away on a man who has yet to prove himself by track record. Calling for impeachment this late in the game does not convince me of any sincerity on Dennis' part. It only tells me that the Democrats know the citizens are unhappy with them and may not vote for them next election. I feel the Dem/Repukes are hedging their bets by allowing Dennis to carry on his melodramatics (there has been no objection to D.K's activities, only silence from Polosi, Bush or Cheney. Not what you would expect from these dirty Plamegate players. No smear attempt against Dennis. Very suspicious.)

I, for one, am not so easily fooled. Impeachment takes a year to carry out. By that time it will be a moot point.

Don't vote for any Democrat or any Republican to play the "lesser of the evils game." This may be the reason you always see two merchant puppets running for office each election.

Vote for the best man for the job. Vote a third (uncontaminated) party. Write in the name since you know the Republicrat election laws are bias against poor grassroots candidates and will not have the good ones on the ballot. Even Ralph couldn't get his name printed on the ballot in all 50 states.

It would be helpful if we could find a way to coalesce all the alternative parties and movements together. (Greens, Anti-War, Labor, Independents, Anti-Globalizationist, Constitutionals, Libertarians etc)

What do you think Grampa?

The merchant party is the result of two events in 1776: A "stern" letter sent to a king and the publication of a thesis. The letter of course, was the Declaration of Independence and the book was the Wealth of Nations.

Today. the world is filled with "merchant parties". The Liberal Democratic system is set up that way! These merchant parties represent an ideology that favours globalization -- linking financial and other markets to spread risk meaning everyone shares in the adverse consequences of foolish risks. Yet though all are at risk under globalization, only those who invested reap the rewards.

The merchant parties understand the end result of globalization. Economists call it the equilibrium state. Those whose standard of living was below it, will eventually rise to that level. But what of those above that level? Some will fall to the lower equilibrium. Others will have a form of capital that others lack. Social capital. After the middle class has consumed less (because they make less), only the upper class can continue consumption. They can call in a favour for employment of their young one. Donate to a school and ensure their children's acceptance, and so forth. But that is social capital. And I think that in holding this form of social capital, rich people can maintain and increase inequality as long as people remain docile.

BTW, That doesn't mean armed revolution. It means dialogue, exchange of ideas, consensus building and civil disobedience. To those who ask for 'revolution' I say "Wake up! It's a lot easier to see what going on with your eyes open!" The system will change when it loses it's efficieny. If you threaten that, then the merchant parties and their corporate backers will appease.

How to threaten it? From within. Imagine if tax collectors decided to stop collecting taxes until their wishes as voters was heeded? It wouldn't matter what legislation the Dems/Repubs pass, because the disenfranchised will not collect it for you.

Imagine if the National Guard sent to contain the "Free Speech ZOnes" at major conferences and summits, decided that the people's voices should be heard by their "leaders", and let them demonstrate closer?

Imagine if no one joined the Armed Services (and those in it went on strike!!) until they saw the changes they asked their "leaders" for?

Think of armed revolution as an explosion and civil disobedience as an implosion.

Anyway, that's another rant.

Cheers,

Paul.

pcplyer--guilt by association eh? No one can be trusted except the purest of the pure? Sorry, my man, but unless you are an adept mind reader, I fail to see how you can say with such certainty that DK is simply part of a masterful plot to keep us all duped.

He had an impeachment resolution sitting on Conyer's desk since the Dems got a majority in 2006.Before that? How would he have accomplished that? Dems couldn't even book a damned hearing room when Hastert and DeLay held the reins of the House. How would you suggest they censure him, and for what? For doing what the people want---THEY are the ones who would then be censured, and they knew it. They did the next best thing and tried to have his motion tabled. He's just one lowly Congressman for God's sake. CUT HIM SOME SLACK. Turn your anger on Pelosi who took it off the table and threatened people in her own party if they forced the issue. KNOW THY ENEMY! hint* It ain't Dennis Kucinich.

PS Have you ever noticed how rarely DK supporters trash Ralph Nadar. We are not Dem loyalists! We support him because he isn't acting like a Democrat---not even close.

Mr. Nader is writing about the perils of advertising, and I agree with him 100%. However, I couldn't help but notice that this article is itself an advertisement.

Shut off the TV, don`t even think of letting your child have a computer in their own room, eat meals at home together, do projects such as Boy or Girl Scouts, 4-H clubs, gardening, etc. Have family meetings to talk about the wise use of money and budgeting, have fun together instead of shooting to the mall, and show them there is something besides staring at a screen and playing raucous music constantly. A family pet or two can help also to keep kids in touch with reality. As Ralph said, children need to know how life was for their ancestors , and the debt they owe to them for making this country what it was seven years ago and hopefully can be again. Another thing totally out of control is endless sports that prove nothing and only keep kids from having time to do more productive activities.

Like 'Ed Norton used to say..."Ralphie, Babeee!"

Thank you for sharing some familial experiences with us, Ralph. 'THE SEVENTEEN TRADITIONS' is a wonderful book to read and reflect on concerning our own life and dealings with others. I plan to buy more copies and give them as Christmas presents and to a few local libraries as well.

Hank Fur; You brought out some interesting points on building genuine relationships and real community. Thanks for your comments. By the way, the world ALWAYS needed that song.

LeeAnnG; Very good story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

PAULITICS; I like it I like it! Wasn;t there a book or movie tittled, 'What if They Started a War and Nobody Came?'

Kernel; One fine paragraph of useful information. Well said.

Ralph Nader; WE LOVE YOU, BROTHER.

We've brought up our child to be fair and compassionate, applying justice to every aspect of his life, from friendships to what he eats to what he plays with, to what and how he reads, and to who and what he campaigns for.

It's not about perfection, and we're not perfect to be sure, but we're consciously trying to make a better world.

Eco-Eating: Eating as if the Earth Matters
www.brook.com/veg

Taking the Stuffing Out of Thanksgiving:

Let me suggest that intelligent Americans abolish the old thanksgiving sham, including the fake history about America's supposed "waspy" new england forebears - should be "overbears or überbears," and instead start a holiday dedicated to responsible nutrition and good gourmet taste, sense and sensibility (couldn't resist this priggish thought).

Names might be as follows:
1. Thankspigging (no, no, no!)
2. Gourmet Day (yes! much better!) pronounced -you got it!- Gourmay Day.
3. Chefs Thursday!
4. Martha Stewart's Day (I'm angling for editorial work :0) Sounds very, very American.
5. National All You Can Eat Day (no, no, no!)
6. Good Food Day! ( O.K., but not a winner).
7. Dine Out Day! (good for restaurants)
8. National Pilgrim Cannibal Cookout Day (Here American politicians from Massachusets and New England are fed to the masses, basted in their own juices).

Well, anyway, something should be done to encourage Americans to eat tastier, more healthful food.