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Whatever Happened to Shame and Guilt?
Once again we have been treated to yet more failures of leadership. Last week it was Cardinal Roger Mahony, Archbishop of Los Angeles. Instead of testifying in court over his priest-child-abusers, the Cardinal arranged for a $660 million payout to the victims. He then made his apologies and closed the case.
This week we see Attorney General Alberto Gonzales tripping over his own lies as he testifies before Congress about the mismanagement of the Justice Department. Then, of course, as his approval ratings decline, President Bush has again resorted to reminding us that we are a nation under the terrorists' threat. In Tuesday's speech he used the words "Al Qeada" 95 times as he tried to connect A.Q. to Iraq and September 11. Good God, how much more of this charade must we take?
Meanwhile, CEOs continue to sell off more American jobs to the lowest overseas bidders, wreak havoc on the local communities that depend on these jobs and then they are rewarded for cutting costs and creating greater profits. Afterward, many of these geniuses are curiously let go with multi-million-dollar parachutes.
Be it religion, politics, or business, our leaders have evolved into a bunch of brutish, violent, aggressive, all-knowing, all-controlling hooligans and this brand of arrogant, unabashed leadership is totally unacceptable. "We, the People" get nothing out of it, so "We, the People" we must put a stop to it!
u003cbr> Most of us have been taught that we are judged by our actions and not by our words. So it is disconcerting for us to deal with leaders who apply positive public relations (a lá Bush); slick, legalistic word usage (a lá Bill Clinton); and behind-the-scenes, under-cover maneuverings of the system to further reward the rich and powerful (a lá Cheney).u003cbr> u003cbr> Lately, it is becoming more and more obvious to more and more citizens that our leaders do NOT concern themselves with the good of the society that they have been entrusted to, but rather for the good of those on top, especially, themselves. They don't even seem to care about the institutions they lead except to "mine" their resources and move on. It is INDECENT that the Miniscule Minority (1 percent of the top 1 percent) take from the rest of us! u003cbr> u003cbr> Most of our leaders have strong educational backgrounds from distinguished universities, a long list of achievements and some religious affiliation. However, it seems that their thirst for more power, more money and more influence is what motivates them most. Such aspirations are just plain shameful and, unfortunately for us, our leaders don't seem to know it OR feel guilty about their behavior. u003cbr> u003cbr> Seems to me that "We the People" need to re-institute some form of control over our leaders and give them a little dose of middle class morality. Cultural anthropologist Paul Hiebert (1932-2007) might lend us a hand. He was the distinguished professor of mission and anthropology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL, and a third generation Mennonite Brethren missionary to India. Hiebert illustrated that a society controls its people through either shame or guilt. For example, in a shame society, like Japan, people respond to misdeeds in the following ways: u003cbr> u003cblockquote>Shame is a reaction to other people's criticism, an acute personal chagrin at our failure to live up to our obligations and the expectations others have of us. In true shame-oriented cultures, every person has a place and a duty in the society. One maintains self-respect, not by choosing what is good rather than what is evil, but by CHOOSING WHAT IS EXPECTED of one [emphasis added]. Personal desires are sunk in the collective expectation. Those who fail will often turn their aggression against themselves instead of using violence against others. By punishing themselves they maintain their self-respect before others, for shame cannot be relieved, as guilt can be, by confession and atonement. Shame is removed and honor restored only when a person does what the society expects of him or her in the situation, including committing suicide if necessary.",1] ); //--> u003cbr> Most of us have been taught that we are judged by our actions and not by our words. So it is disconcerting for us to deal with leaders who apply positive public relations (a lá Bush); slick, legalistic word usage (a lá Bill Clinton); and behind-the-scenes, under-cover maneuverings of the system to further reward the rich and powerful (a lá Cheney).u003cbr> u003cbr> Lately, it is becoming more and more obvious to more and more citizens that our leaders do NOT concern themselves with the good of the society that they have been entrusted to, but rather for the good of those on top, especially, themselves. They don't even seem to care about the institutions they lead except to "mine" their resources and move on. It is INDECENT that the Miniscule Minority (1 percent of the top 1 percent) take from the rest of us! u003cbr> u003cbr> Most of our leaders have strong educational backgrounds from distinguished universities, a long list of achievements and some religious affiliation. However, it seems that their thirst for more power, more money and more influence is what motivates them most. Such aspirations are just plain shameful and, unfortunately for us, our leaders don't seem to know it OR feel guilty about their behavior. u003cbr> u003cbr> Seems to me that "We the People" need to re-institute some form of control over our leaders and give them a little dose of middle class morality. Cultural anthropologist Paul Hiebert (1932-2007) might lend us a hand. He was the distinguished professor of mission and anthropology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL, and a third generation Mennonite Brethren missionary to India. Hiebert illustrated that a society controls its people through either shame or guilt. For example, in a shame society, like Japan, people respond to misdeeds in the following ways: u003cbr> u003cblockquote>Shame is a reaction to other people's criticism, an acute personal chagrin at our failure to live up to our obligations and the expectations others have of us. In true shame-oriented cultures, every person has a place and a duty in the society. One maintains self-respect, not by choosing what is good rather than what is evil, but by CHOOSING WHAT IS EXPECTED of one [emphasis added]. Personal desires are sunk in the collective expectation. Those who fail will often turn their aggression against themselves instead of using violence against others. By punishing themselves they maintain their self-respect before others, for shame cannot be relieved, as guilt can be, by confession and atonement. Shame is removed and honor restored only when a person does what the society expects of him or her in the situation, including committing suicide if necessary.",1] ); //-->Most of us have been taught that we are judged by our actions and not by our words. So it is disconcerting for us to deal with leaders who apply positive public relations (a lá Bush); slick, legalistic word usage (a lá Bill Clinton); and behind-the-scenes, under-cover maneuverings of the system to further reward the rich and powerful (a lá Cheney).
Lately, it is becoming more and more obvious to more and more citizens that our leaders do NOT concern themselves with the good of the society that they have been entrusted to, but rather for the good of those on top, especially, themselves. They don't even seem to care about the institutions they lead except to "mine" their resources and move on. It is INDECENT that the Miniscule Minority (1 percent of the top 1 percent) take from the rest of us!
Most of our leaders have strong educational backgrounds from distinguished universities, a long list of achievements and some religious affiliation. However, it seems that their thirst for more power, more money and more influence is what motivates them most. Such aspirations are just plain shameful and, unfortunately for us, our leaders don't seem to know it OR feel guilty about their behavior.
Seems to me that "We the People" need to re-institute some form of control over our leaders and give them a little dose of middle class morality. Cultural anthropologist Paul Hiebert (1932-2007) might lend us a hand. He was the distinguished professor of mission and anthropology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL, and a third generation Mennonite Brethren missionary to India. Hiebert illustrated that a society controls its people through either shame or guilt. For example, in a shame society, like Japan, people respond to misdeeds in the following ways:
Shame is a reaction to other people's criticism, an acute personal chagrin at our failure to live up to our obligations and the expectations others have of us. In true shame-oriented cultures, every person has a place and a duty in the society. One maintains self-respect, not by choosing what is good rather than what is evil, but by CHOOSING WHAT IS EXPECTED of one [emphasis added]. Personal desires are sunk in the collective expectation. Those who fail will often turn their aggression against themselves instead of using violence against others. By punishing themselves they maintain their self-respect before others, for shame cannot be relieved, as guilt can be, by confession and atonement. Shame is removed and honor restored only when a person does what the society expects of him or her in the situation, including committing suicide if necessary.
u003c/blockquote> So the way it works in Japan is that if the leader makes a terrible mistake, he resigns his position in shame. Everyone expects him to do so because he has violated the community or society he was supposed to protect. By contrast, in a guilt society like ours, people develop a sense of right and wrong as an integral part of their conscience:u003cbr> u003cblockquote>Guilt is a feeling that arises when we violate the absolute standards of morality within us, when we violate our conscience. A person may suffer from guilt although no one else knows of his or her misdeed; this feeling of guilt is relieved by CONFESSING THE MISDEED AND MAKING RESTITUTION [emphasis added]. True guilt cultures rely on an internalized conviction of sin as the enforcer of good behavior, not, as shame cultures do, on external sanctions. Guilt cultures emphasize punishment and forgiveness as ways of restoring the moral order; shame cultures stress self-denial and humility as ways of restoring the social orderu003cbr> u003c/blockquote> Today, it appears that neither shame nor guilt affect our abusive and incompetent leaders. We have a legal system and our Constitution's checks and balances, but these tools are failing to help us deal with our leaders. So at this time of national and international emergency (i.e., constant war, limited energy resources, global warming, and the increasing gap between the rich and the poor), we must do something about this failure of our leadership: u003cbr> u003cblockquote>· Impeach incompetent government officials. u003cbr> · Boycott unnecessary consumerist products. u003cbr> · Walk out of corrupt religious institutions.u003cbr> u003c/blockquote> Let's get going, America!u003cbr> u003cbr> u003cbr> u003cfont coloru003d\"#3333ff\">Olga Bonfiglio is a professor at Kalamazoo College in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and author of Heroes of a Different Stripe: How One Town Responded to the War in Iraq. She has written for several national magazines on the subjects of social justice and religion. Her website is u003cu>u003ca hrefu003d\"http://www.OlgaBonfiglio.com\" targetu003d\"_blank\" onclicku003d\"return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)\">",1] ); //--> u003c/blockquote> So the way it works in Japan is that if the leader makes a terrible mistake, he resigns his position in shame. Everyone expects him to do so because he has violated the community or society he was supposed to protect. By contrast, in a guilt society like ours, people develop a sense of right and wrong as an integral part of their conscience:u003cbr> u003cblockquote>Guilt is a feeling that arises when we violate the absolute standards of morality within us, when we violate our conscience. A person may suffer from guilt although no one else knows of his or her misdeed; this feeling of guilt is relieved by CONFESSING THE MISDEED AND MAKING RESTITUTION [emphasis added]. True guilt cultures rely on an internalized conviction of sin as the enforcer of good behavior, not, as shame cultures do, on external sanctions. Guilt cultures emphasize punishment and forgiveness as ways of restoring the moral order; shame cultures stress self-denial and humility as ways of restoring the social orderu003cbr> u003c/blockquote> Today, it appears that neither shame nor guilt affect our abusive and incompetent leaders. We have a legal system and our Constitution's checks and balances, but these tools are failing to help us deal with our leaders. So at this time of national and international emergency (i.e., constant war, limited energy resources, global warming, and the increasing gap between the rich and the poor), we must do something about this failure of our leadership: u003cbr> u003cblockquote>· Impeach incompetent government officials. u003cbr> · Boycott unnecessary consumerist products. u003cbr> · Walk out of corrupt religious institutions.u003cbr> u003c/blockquote> Let's get going, America!u003cbr> u003cbr> u003cbr> u003cfont coloru003d\"#3333ff\">Olga Bonfiglio is a professor at Kalamazoo College in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and author of Heroes of a Different Stripe: How One Town Responded to the War in Iraq. She has written for several national magazines on the subjects of social justice and religion. Her website is u003cu>u003ca hrefu003d\"http://www.OlgaBonfiglio.com\" targetu003d\"_blank\" onclicku003d\"return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)\">",1] ); //-->So the way it works in Japan is that if the leader makes a terrible mistake, he resigns his position in shame. Everyone expects him to do so because he has violated the community or society he was supposed to protect. By contrast, in a guilt society like ours, people develop a sense of right and wrong as an integral part of their conscience:
Guilt is a feeling that arises when we violate the absolute standards of morality within us, when we violate our conscience. A person may suffer from guilt although no one else knows of his or her misdeed; this feeling of guilt is relieved by CONFESSING THE MISDEED AND MAKING RESTITUTION [emphasis added]. True guilt cultures rely on an internalized conviction of sin as the enforcer of good behavior, not, as shame cultures do, on external sanctions. Guilt cultures emphasize punishment and forgiveness as ways of restoring the moral order; shame cultures stress self-denial and humility as ways of restoring the social order
Today, it appears that neither shame nor guilt affect our abusive and incompetent leaders. We have a legal system and our Constitution's checks and balances, but these tools are failing to help us deal with our leaders. So at this time of national and international emergency (i.e., constant war, limited energy resources, global warming, and the increasing gap between the rich and the poor), we must do something about this failure of our leadership:
· Impeach incompetent government officials. · Boycott unnecessary consumerist products. · Walk out of corrupt religious institutions.
Let's get going, America!
Olga Bonfiglio is a professor at Kalamazoo College in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and author of Heroes of a Different Stripe: How One Town Responded to the War in Iraq. She has written for several national magazines on the subjects of social justice and religion. Her website is www.OlgaBonfiglio.com. Contact her at olgabonfiglio@yahoo.com.
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11 Comments so far
Show AllNietzsche,
I mostly agree with (the gist of) what you've said. And yet, they are monsters by virtue of their monstrous behaviour. Aren't they.
Don't agree that it all started with a B-grade actor (Regan?). Though it has indeed spread like a malignant cancerous pandemic since that recent time.
They do not have all of us doing it. Some of us still have functioning hearts and minds. Don't know if it's going to help much though. :(
Maybe as the saying goes, it's always darkest before dawn?
This is a lie that is paraded around once in a while:
"We are guilt based, where they are shamed based."
Which was also recently used in the mainstream media to dehumanize Islamic people.
Look at the premise, it is this:
"They feel no guilt or remorse unless other people are looking."
Which is to say: "They are only ever sorry if they get caught."
Dehumanization is what is at issue here. These types of stories are used to render an entire class of people as being sociopaths. Dehumanization is what _real_ sociopaths do to excuse they violence and cultural/racial/etc. supremacy.
If "God" "tells" you to kill and maim millions for oil, make the obscenely wealthy wealthier, crush all other classes, spread corruption cancer throughout every fed agency, and ignore the will of the "people,) (who are simply too stupid to comprehend the "real truths" that only the enlightened elite understand,) then what's to feel guilty about?
One addition to the short action list: drop your Dem registration and go Independent; target boycotts to top economic terrorists, starting with Exxon and anything Murdoch.
This is not a criticism of Ms. Bonfiglio's essay, still it must be said that it is unreasonable or illogical to expect shameless or remorseless people to experience shame or remorse for their destructive behaviours. Imo, they're not fully human. Meaning that they are not fully developed, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually. btw, the three are inter-connected.
Good essay Ms. Bonfiglio. Thanks for it.
provocative column. careful though. many societies with a strong sense of public shame and guilt expiation are emotionally repressive (japan and korea, etc) and sexually repressive like the many male dominated middle eastern nations. shame often induces anger and very often the (politically) least of us bear the brunt of this anger-women, children and the elderly. or the anger is directed inward and we see the results all around us- drugs, violence and risky behavior. give everyone a real stake in a society- and the alienation of shame and guilt can be constructive- otherwise it's just empty moralization. very interesting reading. thanks.
What happened to shame and guilt is that money--or the lack thereof--has entirely replaced every other standard of goodness, justice, or personal worthiness. Literally no other standard is now operative: Rich is good; poor is bad. If you want to know if you are among the elect, check your bank account.
How can our corporate and political leaders possibly feel guilt, since the standard they are applying to their conduct is virtually the only standard known to our society?
People who adhere to different standards; i.e., that the imperative to avoid lying, cheating, stealing, and killing supersedes the imperative to make money, are simply fools who adhere to impractical, wild-eyed, and anachronistic values that no longer have any application in modern society.
There's nothing new about this: The problem of the love of money and power was using up a lot of valuable oxygen even in Biblical times.
I do think our culture has allowed the opposing set of values--the ones that insist on justice, respect for all, truthfulness, and fair and honorable dealings--to erode to a remarkable degree. I am not really in a position to know whether these values have eroded to an unprecedented degree--to virtually disappear from public discourse or as guides to conduct--but it sure seems like it.
It also seems to me that good faith is the foundation of a viable society, and when that is gone that society is done for.
'Legalism' has made 'shame and guilt' irrelevant.
How many times have we heard the expression, "I've done nothing wrong (legally)..."
With this 'new' thinking, that ancient moral compass of 'shame and guilt' have gone haywire. Is it any wonder that we have what we have today?
Those of us still shocked by today's shenanigans are living in the past...(hopefully not!)
Ooph. This old anthropological garbage? Well, ok. If I must.
It is not unusual that the racist will split their view of the world into opposing positions, ascribing the one that they wish to deny, because they see it as ugly, stupid, dirty (should we say "shameful") to those over which they have power. The term for this is "othering" or "splitting" or "projection". The case of "shame" and "guilt" is a good example. While denying one's own capacity for shame, the capacity for guilt, seen as the pinnacle of moral development because it involves universal moral rules, is preserved for the racist. So, what they are preserving for themselves is a claim to direct access to a universal knowledge on the nature of morality, while denying anyone else's access to truth. This is convenient, as it allows them yet another excuse for going about imposing on everyone.
I am reminded of what one of my South Asian woman friends told me about the Christian school that she was sent to in Tamil Nad when she was a child. "That religion is such a pain in the ass. Guilt, guilt, guilt. It's nothing but guilt."
Of course, the liberal is no better when it comes to universalist presumptions.
Oh, and SoreFeets ...
This stuff about sexual repression is another racist trope. Isn't it odd how the racist mind works? The negro is a hyper-sexual animal with a super-long dick, the yellow man is repressed and a-sexual, with a tiny dick - though you'll notice that the virginal Japanese woman is just waiting for the white man, who has just the right sexual capacity, to introduce her to adulthood.
This kind of racism pervades our society, and when it does it effects a kind of spiritual emptying-out. There is something to the idea that the white man has no soul. It's been evacuated by this kind of self-denial. And that can't help but effect the sexuality. My sense is that sexuality here is very concrete, the richness of sensuality, "maast", that I experience in India or the delicate sensitivity of human relations in Japan having no counterpart here.
Shame and guilt are not publicly traded commodities and are therefore irrelevant.
Annemarie, If these crime bosses were monsters they would have no culpability. Their actions would have no more moral significance than an earthquake or a hurricane. Certainly they have their limitations---we all do, and unfortunately all of us capable of unspeakable acts under the right circumstances.
These people labor under profound disadvantages: lack of contact with anyone not obscenely rich, accustomed from birth to getting everything they wanted, unlimited power, mental, emotional, and (PR to the contrary) spiritual immaturity. As long as public office is for sale we are stuck with this scum.
And to think it all started with a B grade actor who taught the employees of GE to screw themselves. It spread like the cancer it is. They have us all doing it.
annemarie, thanks for the answer