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A Mid-Summer Review of Things Gone Badly Awry
I know it's dangerous to think for yourself in America these days, but please take a couple of minutes to consider how far we've traveled from common sense these past few years.
Here's the short list. Nothing new, but a citizen's inventory of the state of the union is a worthwhile endeavor if only to maintain perspective.
Some Americans have perfected their sense of entitlement these past few years, perhaps taking their cue from our nation's greedy leaders. They think they have a Constitutional right to own a big TV, a new car and a swimming pool.
But - no need to actually earn the money to pay for them. The old American dream involving that pesky work ethic has been replaced with the new American scheme of suing our way to riches. Laziness is the new road to success, and laziness leads Americans to sitting on their big ole butts. And that leads to 'hey, cool!' a lawsuit against fast-food chains for making Americans eat so much that they grow big ole butts on which to sit in front of the big ole TV.
Meanwhile, the cost of gasoline is nearing $4 a gallon, but most Americans are too busy sitting on their big ole butts in front of the big ole TV to wonder why it costs so much to fill up the big ole SUV.
Some Americans think everyone else in the world should learn English. This is called Freedom to be Arrogant. It's a God-given right to live in an English-only country and not communicate with anyone outside the housing development. Our nation's leaders, once again, serve as role models of insularity.
At the Vatican, the pope is apparently not satisfied with the in-fighting going on in the Muslim world. Now he's trying to pit Christians against one another by announcing that non-Catholic churches - like the Protestants - aren't true churches and their members aren't getting into heaven. Pope says his church is better than your church! Grab your sword, everyone! We're off to the crusades! (p.s. For those who insist on missing the point: This is NOT Catholic bashing. This is POPE bashing. Two different things.)
Some school boards in America are requiring the teaching of creationism in science class because there are some folks who believe we were created seven days ago "¦ or whatever number they've got in their heads. By all means, let's indulge the ignorant.
We have an entire generation of teenagers wandering the wasteland of our malls with cell phones glued to their ears. Instead of talking to the cashier or the shopper they just ploughed into, they're talking to teenagers at the other end of the mall about being at the mall. Then they get annoyed because we're eavesdropping on their highly personal conversations. Hey, cell-phone head! We'd LOVE not to be eavesdropping on your conversation, so - please - go talk in the privacy of the rest room while you flush the toilet to drown yourself out.
We have a vice president who's declared he's not part of the executive branch - even while he claims executive privilege. As Keith Olbermann points out, we've now got four branches of government: the executive, the legislative, the judicial and the Dick.
There are three countries in the so-called Axis of Evil. Two of them have weapons of mass destruction. One does not. So we invaded which one?
And, finally, we have a president who has, once again, assured Americans that things are going really well in Iraq. That's the name of the Axis of Evil country we invaded - the one that doesn't have weapons of mass destruction. The one where 3,611 Americans and 655,000 Iraqi civilians have died, and millions of others have been wounded or displaced.
Yes, things are going really, really well. We should all be so proud of ourselves.
There are 554 days 'til Jan. 20, 2009.
Beth's column appears on Monday. Talk to her at 346-3147 or at bquinn@th-record.com.
© 2007 The Record On-line
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8 Comments so far
Show AllWhoa! Love it. Kudos to the Times Herald Record for printing such a gutsy column tellin' it like it is. I bet she gets some rather pointed letters.
Most editors don't like columnists (or radio hosts for that matter) insulting the readership.
But here's the rub - I've seen more evidence that Americans are turning off to reading and especially reading newspapers. This is particularly noticeable in the under 30 age group. So the people who need to see themselves in columns like this remain oblivious - which is a good word to describe most Americans today.
Anyway, let's see more from Beth Quinn!
Her archive is here: http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=NEWS0206
Alas, do we REALLY expect a sea change on Jan. 20, 2009?
Did I miss something? Last I looked, only one of the three Axis of Evil countries had WMD ( read: what used to be known as the atomic bomb ).
I visited southern Africa in 2001. When I came back to the USA I noticed how ridiculously fat Americans are. It had never hit me before.
Visit Disneyland-see how many visitors (speaking American English) ride motorized carts 'cause they're too fat to walk between rides (or even through doorways, sometimes).
Although I do thank the inordinately obese guy who took so long getting out of the cart on the Matterhorn ride (I saw one employee running up with butter and a huge shoe horn) that the ride-meister let my daughter and I stay in our cart and we rode a second time around without getting out and having to get back in the 2-hour line. Thank you, chubby!
re: Auberon "Alas, do we REALLY expect a sea change on Jan. 20, 2009?"
Indeed-
Why do so many expect Cheney to go quietly? He can run for Veep again (no term limits there), he could run for Prez.
He can stay in office if we're under martial law and elections have to be, well, delayed because we're at war with Iraq and Iran and maybe others and the American people are rioting against the draft...
Cheney might even stay in his new branch of government that he invented for himself.
When I hear him talk about his retirement plans I will feel less paranoid.
Notice how fat he is?
"554 days" left?
Too long. The war fascists and Zionists will attack Iran before then.
A lot of us on this blog believe they will attack Iran & declare martial law. So do I: Cheney is smart. --Evil as Satan, to be sure, but as smart. He knows that he stands a good chance of prosecution if the manifold crimes of these thieves are investigated and pursued. A good way to stop such investigations is to create a crisis large enough to give them the excuse to declare martial law. And an attack on Iran--particularly with nuclear weapons--will do it.
The stars are aligned for a disaster beyond measure. And it could happen any time--the USS Enterprise is on its way to the Gulf...
I hope Beth has saved her column because except for the number of days left, it will be reading the same thing next year at this time.
Beth, just a couple of notes..the pope is "infallable" (I guess George and deadey Dick too) and on a more serious note, I wish the teenagers were talking on the cellphones in the mall! Here in West Michigan they're talking on their cellphone while they're driving and KILLING THEMSELVES IN RECORD NUMBERS! Running stop signs and getting broadsided, drifting across the center line in front of very large semi's (in a match between an SUV and a Peterbilt the truck wins) and I have to agree with one of the above posters about the weight of Americans. Go to the grocery store and look at who is driving one of those little carts..THE PEOPLE WHO COULD REALLY USE THE EXERCISE OF WALKING) Good blog, but how do we change our country, the election will be a good beginning but the neocons are kinda like an infestation of cockroaches..you can get rid of some but they come back however they do scatter when exposed to the light.
The election will change nothing. We will be reading the same thing one year from now and Cheney is a DICK. Who needs marshal law declared when both parties work for the same Corporations? So why are so many Amerikins fat? When food has no nutritional value you keep on eating more and more. Remember The Trouble with Tribles on Star Trek. They died because the food was poisoned with some thing that made it inert in the body. They ate and ate and starved to death. Sounds a little like Amerika. No? Of course with food imported from China and South Africa death may come to you a bit quicker.